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This month I learned about taking things for granted

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As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been on hiatus for a month. But just because I haven’t written, doesn’t mean I haven’t learned. And the most pressing lesson I’ve learned in that time is not to take things for granted.

Or even more accurately, to be grateful for everything you have.

The night before this post was originally scheduled (those four weeks ago) we celebrated my Grandpa’s 80th birthday. As he stood up and declared his love for his wife (who has been diagnosed with what is possibly the early stages of Parkinson’s disease), and as my Aunty stood up to tell him he was the best Dad they could have had, I noticed my Mum’s cousin who was visiting from New South Wales begin to cry.

And when I spoke to her after the speeches were done and the cake was cut, I realised these tears weren’t of family happiness but of loss.

Here is a woman who has only rediscovered an extended family of uncles, cousins and their children in the last few years and was mourning the loss of her family. She hasn’t seen her father in more than 30 years since he left her when she was 12. Her sister left her own children and moved overseas, and in the past year she has separated from her husband. And despite the close relationship she now has with her two daughters, her new extended family, us, lives a whole state away.

It damn well nearly broke my heart when through the tears (and the laughing at the tears) this fun and strong woman said “I never had this.”

That was the moment I realised that all my childhood complaints of family dinners and birthdays and having to see both sides of my extended family were exactly that, childish.

Family

Family

I am fortunate enough to be one of those people who will see at least one side of their extended family every month. Unlike many of my friends both these families have scarcely been touched by death or divorce, and I still have all four of my wonderful and doting Grandparents. In the past few weeks while redundancies have plagued my workplace, I still have a job and I still have the friends I have made there.

We see challenges like #100daysofhappiness but more recently I’ve seen something better; #30daysofthankfulness. While being happy with yourself and your life is paramount, sometimes I’ve found that while I’m happy it’s on a shallow level. Only when taking the time out to realise how my day has gone or what has actually happened can I think “wow, I’m so glad I have that.” And that in turn makes me happy.

Naturally living in a first world country we have lots to be grateful for, but often we bypass them because they’re just a part of everyday life. And how can everyday life be extraordinary?

I have an ordinary life. I eat, I go to work, I come home and I go to sleep. But over the past four weeks, while I’ve been procrastinating blogging and admittedly been rather lazy, I’ve also tried to make the most of the little things. Morning sleep ins when you don’t have to go to work, a good book, coming home to someone you love, even being stuck behind a desk inside on a cold winter day when in summer you’re usually straining for the opposite.

And being able to celebrate an 80th birthday with a family you were brought up with and who you love.

Sometimes my partner says I was brought up in a naive, suburban little bubble. But you know what?

I wouldn’t trade that bubble for the world.

Love

Love



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